How To Just Relax

November 1, 2011 § 3 Comments

If you know me, you know “care-free” would not be a word used to describe me. Sometimes I think of my brain in comparison to an indoor track, with about 5 different runners running laps at their own pace, 1 idiot running the opposite way than everyone else, 3 walkers walking on the inner lanes (“WALKERS ON THE OUTER LANES”: something you may hear me shout when running the indoor track myself #butseriously), and one imbecile cutting off one of the 5 runners minding her own business, so she is literally stepping on the imbecile’s heels.

Basically, I always have about 10 things running through my head at any given moment, though they do alternate with other thoughts (think relay race). My friend always asks me if I want to do Yoga with her and I always say no. For me, Yoga is more of a struggle than relaxation because my body does not like to turn into a pretzel. I use too much brain juice and squinting that I worry I may get a headache and wrinkles just from trying to figure out how the heck the instructor is sticking her leg over her arm and bending her head back at the same time without falling on the floor. You get it, Yoga is not my thing. But if it were up to me, I could sit in a Yoga class in my own little world just enjoying the music and the quiet, sort of like meditating but without sitting in that position because I would probably get antsy.

I’m trying to find the best way to just RELAX. Writing often does the trick, but I can’t just write whatever I want all day long. I have to write dumb things called papers and study for tests and submit job applications and all these other fun things. Running is a great way for me to relax but while I’m running, those little runners inside my head are still running on that stupid indoor track. I wish I could just find a way to stop thinking so much! I’m the type of person that has trouble putting a problem in the back of my mind. I’d rather just address it and fix it. But I am slowly learning and accepting that some problems, I am incapable of fixing. They have to just chill there and I have to just accept that. Sometimes I try to trick myself into thinking I’m one of those “go-with-the-flow” types of girls but that doesn’t really work. That kind of just creates another problem. And sometimes I try to sit down and identify ways that I could stop thinking so much, but then I am thinking SO hard about this new problem that I lose focus, like I actually am right now, and I end up in the same place that I was to begin with. Problem temporarily solved. The end.

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